Click your Heels, Dorothy....
The question has been asked --
"How did you get from Connecticut to Austin, all-of-a-sudden-like?"
As much as I've always wanted to be in Austin I could never have done it on my own.
Explaining how it ramped up to getting onto a plane and saying goodbye to Connecticut... well, if you read through the whole blog you'll get the atmosphere of how someone could perhaps feel so disenfranchised and out of sync with their environs a change would be welcome: but the actual mechanics of moving the mountain...
One writer acquaintance said, "Of course there's a man, isn't there?"
ummm yes. and well... no.
The 20 year old neighbor kid smirked, "So you're living with S. now?"
No. I'm staying with him. You know, like a visiting cousin.
I have to blame people's lack of propriety and respect for integrity on the media slicking down a greasy trail of sex under every story, every motivation. There are people in the world who can do things from kindness.
Not everyone who is better off is a greed-pig looking after his own trough and body slamming other pigs from theirs.
This happened fast. Much too fast to think about.
It started a few days before... Someone from the forum found my Aunt Aggie blog and read it -- and decided to write to me about it.
We exchanged a hail-load of emails, and I enjoyed writing to him: He's got a poetic quality to his thought forms and forced me to think in that metered form when I responded. I love poetry because in my writing of it I am able to access truths that are otherwise hidden from me. The correspondence was stretching my mental muscles in another direction; which is exhilarating -- my favorite sort of exercise: and I guess impressive to read?! lol.
A day or two after we started exchanging email, the poet said, "Hey, you have to meet my friend, he lives in Austin."
Well. "Austin" is a magic word. I like saying it, I like thinking about it.
Having said things and thought about things with the first guy that coalesced realizations in my mind, my natural scepticism about opening up to new people was on vacation. I said, "yeah, ok. introduce us."
Which was how I met S. M.
We'd literally exchanged 3 emails and spoke on the phone once, before he offered to pull me back into the world of the living.
"If you want a change, come down to Austin. I have plenty of room, and I can help you get on your feet."Not exactly getting whapped in the head with a magic wand, but pretty dang close.
"But... I don't have any money. I mean -- I have nothing."
"No problem. I'll get you a ticket. What's the closest airport to you?"
Friends have commented on The Good Karma S. has coming his way for doing this: I was nearly a complete stranger, and there was no good reason to decide to help me; other than he could -- and I needed to be helped, if I would accept that help.
I've been in Texas a little over 3 weeks, and it's like stepping into a childhood I never had. Texas -- Austin -- is physically similar to where I'd spent my whole life -- except for palm trees and cacti in front yards that have seen little or no snow, ever. This is Winter in Central Texas: greener than New England, and warmer in every conceivable means from the winter I've always known.
photo courtesy Park Street, Antone's 1.31.06
Do I love it here?
Yes, I do.
Do I want to stay here?
without question, absolutely yes.
Can I pull it together?..
well I heard from the bookstore I interviewed with -- and she hired someone else.
I haven't had calls from other applications I've dropped off. (and I've politely checked on them. Maybe too politely? ugh. but like Harlan Ellison says, "When you need a job and hunger for one openly you never get hired because they smell desperation on you like panther sweat." Believe me -- I am acting as cool and nonchalant as my stomach acids will allow -- without actually leaping up and running out of my nose in a constant flesh eating terrified drip.)
I move into my apartment March 1st.
I have a Ford Ranger to drive myself around in for the next 6 months...
and I NEED to get a job.
Other than that -- things are better than they've been in...
well, any other time of my life. [see archives for details].