scrumptious monkey

so much more than an amp -- and yet, not.

4.22.2005

Welling


There is such sweet
sadness in Spring
just under the joy
of new beginnings.
The years dance past us,
whirling into hellos
so that the goodbyes
seem embarrassing.

Memory is a vapor trail
testing our eyes:
we look up
like looking back; as if
we looked at the world
only once, in childhood
and everything we know
is based on this...

Without goodbye
You never left.

~
)0(

4.16.2005

Karma and Past Lives


asked on the Spirits Of Fire discussion board:
MM Family,
I was thinking yesterday about life and the hard things we endure in a lifetime. Karma has always been a confusing subject for me and the reason for this is my views on past lives. Some say, and I do agree, that in this lifetime we are working out the things we did not in our past lives, and/or learning lessons in this life that we may not have in the last. Now, does this mean when things happen that may not be what we want or the hurts, conflicts, bad things and such in this life are a direct connection to our past lives? How much does this differ from karma? Is karma something that effects us only in this lifetime or over many lifetimes? Lastly, how much control do we have to change and/or balance our own karma in this lifetime, or is it something that just happens, like fate? I can't wait to hear your responses!

My response:

I think it would be useful to get a working definition of fate (I'm going to color a few elements here):
n.
The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
The inevitable events predestined by this force.
A final result or consequence; an outcome.
Unfavorable destiny; doom.

Fates Greek & Roman Mythology. The three goddesses, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who control human destiny. Used with the.

[Middle English, from Old French fat, from Latin ftum, prophecy, doom, from neuter past participle of fr, to speak. See bh-2 in Indo-European Roots.]
Main Entry: fate
Pronunciation: 'fAt
Function: noun
: the expected result of normal development

fate
n 1: an event (or a course of events) that will inevitably happen in the future [syn: destiny] 2: the ultimate agency that predetermines the course of events (often personified as a woman); "we are helpless in the face of Destiny" [syn: Destiny, Fate] 3: your overall circumstances or condition in life (including everything that happens to you); "whatever my fortune may be"; "deserved a better fate"; "has a happy lot"; "the luck of the Irish"; "a victim of circumstances"; "success that was her portion" [syn: fortune, destiny, luck, lot, circumstances, portion] v : decree or designate beforehand; "She was destined to become a great pianist" [syn: destine, doom, designate]

I also love that there's a town in Texas named "Fate"
fate, TX (city, FIPS 25572)
Location: 32.94079 N, 96.38629 W
Population (1990): 475 (176 housing units)
Area: 10.9 sq km (land), 0.0 sq km (water)

wow. Talk about the middle of nowhere, huh?
Dean Koontz could give Odd Thomas a road trip..
______________________________________________________

If you notice -- the concept of Fate even by "hard definition" is vague.

Pagans of all varieties believe that the Universe is our University where we enroll for many lifetimes to further our soul's education towards Enlightenment.
I think "Karma" is the individual course of study we sign up for before entering this lifetime.

More than half the troubles we have are that we aren't given a schedule of our classes -- so we end up making a mess of things -- wandering the halls , attending interesting lectures, but failing to get course credit and missing the Deans list due to THE UNIVERSAL LACK OF DIRECT COMMUNICATION BETWEEN FACULTY AND STUDENT BODY!!!

how can we be predestined to do anything -- if we don't know what, where, (with) whom, why, how we get from point A to point B?

isn't destiny, infact -- hindsight? An observation humans make to rationalize the choices that brought us to where we are right this minute: with a "good" or "bad" spin to the tone as you raise your hand to explain
a. that you didn't get a chance to study last night
b. that you're pretty sure you saw this material last semester
c. 'the dog" ate my homework
d. I hope there's extra credit assignments -- I need all the applicable points towards graduation I can get!

Truly -- we're never out of school -- the classroom dimensions just keep getting bigger, more complex.

a writer friend of mine (nominally Christian but let's not be nitpicky, lol) wrote a gorgeous poem about her personal relationship with God:
Preparing for the Period
by XristiM

There is a God in awe and splendor shrouded,
a God of stern judgment, of mighty wrath,
and fearful vengeance.
He rumbles in the ears and from the lips of others,
displays to them the flames,
to them makes promises of cooling waters.

He has nothing to do with me.
He is not the God to whom I daily speak.
Such grandeur would overpower and stun me,
such fervor cower me.
His company could bring no joy.

I have instead for daily use a walk-around God,
He sometimes wonders
at my lack of wonder,
but understands that often
I do not understand.
He thinks that no great problem.
My old age, after all, to Him is budding youth,
my life a fragment of all time
too small for measurement by any scale He uses.

He knows when the sentence of my life
will reach its period,
past the interruptive semicolons and commas,
the dashes and ellipses of my experience;
past the true or false tests of childhood,
the multiple choice examinations of my middle years,
with their limited options and the painful penalties
for efforts to expand their number;
and past this present time,
when every question demands an essay in response,
a careful balancing of possibilities teetering
upon the cusp of mind and belief.

My education has eternity before it.
I anticipate a kindly schoolmaster,
an entrance examination I can pass.
I love how she uses the forms of punctuation and the growing complications of the question and answers that we face as life becomes more choices and lengthier answers.
welll anyway, at the very least I hope I've given you a different context to think of Karma & Fate -- as for Past Lives influences --

I wonder how many of us are in *Special Ed.* / Remedial / Summer School -- and on the flip side of that -- who's in the Advanced Placement Excelerated courses?
)0(

4.14.2005

Blogs, she's got blogs...


This template (with a few minor adjustments) is "Scribe". I currently have it on 3 of the 4 blogs I'm working on.
the boc archives haven't been updated for a while, but I have the material saved. Yes it still exists, it's just a little painful to deal with right now. I'm in the habit of collecting the bag of chips posts so anything anyone's wondering about -- yep. I've got it.

Happyland lies fallow -- I may or may not do anything with it in the future. Lots of interesting stuff on it: and I can't throw anything I've written away. lol. witness that long poem on the boc.

the newest edition is the blog of Advice Columnist / Agony Aunt, Ask Aunt Aggie. This is for a spoof web newspaper and should keep me pretty busy: specifically, it is supposed to be take no prisoners killer innuendo pierced funny as I can make it -- and here I've been trying to smooth over my joke-gag reflex action for nearly 2 years! Woo-hoo, run wild run free!

and of course, Scrumptious Monkey. The good news here is -- EJ lifted it from The Simpsons! Yes this is good news because it's got more milage on it than Uncle Dave's pickup truck, so I'm keeping it! [big grin]
Besides [girlie gush alert] I just love that it was a phrase that struck him as irresistible, too. oh yeah. Shoot me now.

I've gotta finish this and two other projects. I want to give you a copy of my favorite Bukowski poem, since I am writing about it elsewhere and so -- it's much on my mind:

Style

style is the answer to everything --
a fresh way to approach a dull or a
dangerous thing.
to do a dull thing with style
is preferable to doing a dangerous thing
without it.

Joan of Arc had style
John the Baptist
Christ
Socrates
Caesar,
Garcia Lorca.

style is the difference,
a way of doing,
a way of being done.

6 herons standing quietly in a pool of water
or you walking out of the bathroom naked
without seeing
me.

an examination and example -- now that is perfection walking in beauty, my friends.

4.09.2005

E

ok, took me about a week to pull my thoughts together on this. You think that's easy for me to admit?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Godot has been spotted.

I don't recall a story of a mere human having pity on the gods for having to be -- well, god-like 24/7.
The gods of the classical myths had it a bit easier than the Big Guy (of Christianity) -- since banging virgin nymphs and taking personal vengeance was part of the gig for Zeus, Apollo et al.
Apollo never married, did he? Sorry, I digress.

A while back on the ej-list I was feeling specious and did something I winced over for weeks after -- I quoted / lifted a few pages of "Waiting For Godot" and nailed them to the door.

Honestly, I was feeling much too clever and marginalized at that moment: I don't even remember WHY I did it -- albeit I can guess it was probably a commentary on Our Eric's legendary "takes his own sweet time" getting product to the marketplace view from fandom. Godot is a play about nothingness. Like Seinfeld-- but funny. ( Ok -- to each their own.)

Point being, my email went on for about 12k in plain text: excruciating if you didn't see the joke; I'm sure most of the listers and certainly Park and Darrin didn't think it was funny.

Not that I heard about it. Both of those gentlemen probably had to hear about it from pissed off elist subscribers who just wanted the list to tell them about Eric Johnson, thanks very much.
I'd like to think Eric would have found it funny.
If he'd ever known of it at all.

I wrote a lot to the list and I suppose it's egocentric of me to think -- but I wrote good stuff; thought-full, funny, shocking and personal. Did I do it because I wanted an audience to tell me how cool I am? No. That wasn't and isn't the case, at all. First: I write for me. I am (choked laugh) full of stuff and it's gonna come out, one way or another. Getting on line allows me to put the stuff "out there" but no one has to take the time to read it -- it's one thing if you genuinely get a kick out of what I've written: but to read it because it's an obligation: where's the fun and food in that?

I spend a lot of my time thinking and writing about Eric because -- simply -- his stuff is a big part of the pleasure in my life. The list was where other EJ fans were, to talk: about Eric, yea: and all things part of the ripple effect eminating from that center.

It was amazingly good for me because I connected with other fans who understood (small knot within a small group to begin with): not alot of people get the EJ thing: and it must be said, he's appreciated on many different levels by all sorts of people. So a smallish group the world over -- about 30 or so -- did the bulk of the chatter on the list and about 300 more dealt with what was sent to them passively; maybe an occasional note. To the list. Probably tons more to Park. I don't know, but being fairly intelligent, that would be my guess. of the 30 or so who wrote to the list, about half of that used to write me off list. once in a while there were more...
well that's surprising. There's 53 list names in my address book: I have it set to automatically add email addresses that I send email out to.
good grief. I actually know 53 people well enough to send notes to?.. gods, and there's even more names in that file ( shakes head in disbelief) ok, this explains why I'm never away from the freaking computer!

and now -- Park let Eric sign up to the forum.
I'm sure that phrasing is insulting on so many levels. That "E" is registered completely boggles my mind and I am having just a tetch of difficulty coping with the concept.
I got a bunch of email and Private Messages that day.
everything from:

Subject: Breathe, **, breathe...are you ok?

Hey **,

I was just cruisin' thru some of the posts on the forum and saw that Eric was on briefly yesterday. I laughed out loud when the thought crossed my mind that I wonder if you would have the same response if you ran into Eric online as you would if you met him live and in person... I just imagined you passed out on the floor in front of your computer! LOL...

to:
"You don't think that can possibly be real, do you?"

and the funnier:
"I almost choked on the organic corn tortilla chips that I was eating when I read these posts. What the heck?? "

my reply:
You and me both.
I figure if it's legit, wow.
and if it's someone screwing around, Park will do something.

still -- I had a really good laugh -- one letter, uppercase.
god, that's balls.
we'll take our glasses of wine and some nachos and remove to a nice strategic viewing plateau to watch how this plays out, whaddya say?...

all I've done to note it in public (before now)is this piece of banter with "Switchgears"
And yep -- I suppose youve been lurking a bit, but I remember you.
Sweetie darling: if all you do is dip your toesies in the water you really aren't going to leave much of an impression now, are you?
It's not like you're E. He gets away with a sentence or two because of the History he's logged on every individual who takes the time to be here. (honest to G -- I did my best ever Tex Avery take when I saw that this Sunday. Not into cartoons? Think Marcel Duchamp. en bathrobe sans staircase.)

I keep picturing the events of Sunday afternoon. *Just* two buddies hanging out, goofing around on the computer... much giggling and spurious egging each other on...

Don't you just LOVE when the gods screw around with your perception of the world?

I need to find my copy of Giraudoux's The Apollo of Bellac. First -- the comfort of brilliant words and a clever story. Second -- the pivotal speech between Agnes and The Man who's given her the key to succeed in life.
yes in my usual roundabout way, it is germaine.
oh hell -- it's only 3am, maybe I can find it on line...

4.06.2005

Body Wisdom


from The Daily OM

April 6, 2005
Body Wisdom
Kinesiology
The body has an innate wisdom that is constantly monitoring and regulating energy flow and providing feedback to the brain. In many ways, the body provides more accurate information than the mind for understanding our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. While the mind may be confused by the origin and cause of pain and/or illness, the body is all knowing.

Kinesiology is often referred to as muscle testing, but rather than testing muscle strength, kinesiology is a method of measuring muscle response to find imbalances in the body. A truly holistic approach to healing, kinesiology was developed by modern doctors, chiropractors, and acupuncturists utilizing the ancient Chinese healing principals of qi, or energy, flow.

Kinesiology taps into body wisdom to find imbalances and blockages of qi flow, even detecting disruptions in the chakras and aura. Once the cause or source of blocked energy is realized, then kinesiology can also be used to find the best remedy for healing which can be anything from nutrition to herbs to acupuncture.

A simple "self" kinesiology method involves asking your body questions by testing the muscle response in your fingers. For instance, you may want to know if you are suffering from allergies. Make a circle with two fingers. With your other hand, place one finger into the circle. Ask your body whether you are allergic to wheat, for instance, and then push your finger against the place where the circled fingers touch. If the answer is yes, it will be difficult for your finger to break through the circle. If the answer is no, then the circle will be easily broken. Using this method you can go through a whole list of foods to see which ones you should avoid.

When using kinesiology, it's always good to take the time to connect with your higher self, perhaps doing a short meditation or at least finding a quiet place to relax and focus. Still, in times of need, even when your mental and/or emotional state is uncertain, you can trust your body wisdom to tell you what you need to feel well balanced and whole.

4.03.2005

oh no Another Piece on the Pope...


And so John-Paul II has passed. Rest In Peace.
He was, all in all a man who was called upon to wield an enormous influence on the world.
He was a traditionalist who called for traditional values in a world that has entered it's spiritual and moral adolescence: and so his legacy is a mixed bag, at best.
As a Pagan who moved firmly onto the path of the goddess from a near miss of a life in the Church I find myself wanting the whole thing to "get over itself" much faster than it will. As MsD said -- it is a process.
I'm very curious to see who the new Pope will be.
all but 3 (iirc) of the college of Cardinals were invested by this Pope: will the world get someone with a sense of legacy to JP II, or will the world get someone who sees the needs of the faithful and strives for inclusion and modernism?
As much as John Paul II was for Peace and against Capital Punishment, his moral stance was something of a sterile... vacuum -- and well -- yeah. He WAS the Pope: Chaste, living in luxury, isolated from much of the world and her problems so that he could have the conviction of absolutes.
Ironic, that so much of the living world loved and applauded this man at the same time they chaffed under (or ignored) his moral Papal Bulls.
There is nothing Nature abhors more than a vacuum.
Life cannot exist in it. Maintaining a vacuum where life abounds is a futile effort.
Nature in all Her Glory will have Her way
and woe be it to man and his "ideas."
There is nothing that is "Against Nature" but to assume a law writ by man can tame or assuage Her.
Doesn't matter if the law is created by Geniuses in a Think Tank or Decreed from "The Holy See" ...
so I wonder about the next Pope.

and I pray for an enlightened man who has love in his heart and the courage to break the vacuum.

I'd also like a new car and a house in Austin, if it's not too much more to ask.

BB
)0(

4.01.2005

The Flame and the Fireproof Man...


The Flame and the Fireproof Man

Drowning, he surfaced
and cried out "help me!"
so she struggled, wrenched
heaved and tossed to him
a cement donut.


All About Men (this was an email making the boards recently)

The nice men are ugly.

The handsome men are not nice.

The handsome and nice men are gay.

The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

The handsome men without money are after our money.

The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.